THE STALKING OF ANNIE LE

The recent murder of Yale University student, beloved daughter, fiancée and friend to many, Annie Le, has brought national attention to Stalking Homicides. This petite brown-eyed woman who was an advocate for crime, met with her unfortunate death at the hands of a silent killer. Raymond Clark was arrested today and is being held in conjunction with the murder of Annie Le.

When I first heard the news of this apparent abduction and some of the immediate facts surrounding the case, I immediately thought that Annie Le was the victim of crime, by someone she knew, and that this was not a random incident. The security of the building, the only footage of Annie Le was entering the building and not leaving and the fire alarm was pulled that day, made it highly unlikely that she was a runaway bride to be.

As the facts of the case continued to unfold, I believed early on that Annie was the victim of a STALKER that she was unaware of, even though, she herself was an advocate for crime safety.

In my professional opinion, every detail of the crime was planned, including what the killer was going to do, when he was going to do it, where he was going to do it, and what would happen if she didn't cooperate. I don't believe that the alleged perpetrator Raymond Clark had any intention of letter Annie Le walk down the aisle.


Here's the scenario:

Raymond Clark was an introvert in one sense, intelligent, articulate but calculating, he also had a way with the ladies because he looked the part of the clean cut all American guy! Although he was in a relationship with one person, he always wanted something or someone he couldn't have, and that was Annie Le. He had controlling and manipulative ways that were more evident once you were around him for longer periods of time. He used isolation to control the people and things around him, particularly women, and he wanted to be the center of their attention, not so much because he needed it, but because he required it.

As a young student he studied cultural competency of the Asian culture, and most definitely would have told Annie, almost immediately upon meeting her, in order to establish a commonality between them. He saw her as attractive, articulate, extremely smart and aggressive. He liked her immediately and began to fantasize about her and how he could win her over and gain her attention. (Notice I said attention and not necessarily affection) Unfortunately, what he liked about her, he also despised, because she was not a woman who could be controlled and her attention was clearly focused on her upcoming nuptials and her work.

Anytime anyone would ask her about her impending marriage or she would talk about her fiancée, Clark became angry but controlled; it was further exacerbated by his desire to posses her. Annie who was so happy and excited probably didn’t notice his behavior or she may have even dismissed it because of where she was personally in her, and more than likely didn’t mention anything as odd to any of her friends or family.

Raymond Clark would not have likely committed this murder without the details that I described previously, because there would have been little time to clean up a crime scene without at least the potential of exposure. Also, by all accounts even for her stature she would have fought feverishly for her life. So you might be asking what did she say, or what did she do, to cause him to snap? The only thing that Annie Le did….was plan to spend the rest of her life with her fiancé that was someone other than RAYMOND CLARK! This predator willfully and knowingly intended to murder Annie Le.

STALKING:

Stalking is a series of repeated patterns or attempts to willfully engage (whether knowingly or unknowingly to the victim) a person with whom you may or may not have had a relationship with based on a perceived relationship that one person either has had or wants to have with the intended victim.

These attempts of engagement can be either completed or uncompleted, via any form of communication, (phone, computer, letter, texting, driving by etc.) which can range from the less threatening to the severity of life threatening and death. Which are systematic in nature and harassing in content or action.

A victim can unknowingly be stalked by a perpetrator and may consider some of the incidents as coincidental and random, particularly if they are not initially threatening. A stalker will often be methodical in determining habits, circle of friends, places of interest and the like. It would be hard to be aware of, what you are not aware of, is even taking place.

Once you believe that you are the victim of a stalker, you should immediately contact the police, tell your family, friends, co-workers and place of business. If you can obtain pictures of your stalker you should show them to as many people as you can. While the police will do all that they can, you MUST advocate for your own safety and take every precaution necessary to regain control of your presence and life.

Stalking is not just for the rich and famous! Anyone can be the victim of a stalker! Be vigilant, be awareness BE SAFE!!!

Jaycee Dugard - When a child goes MISSING!

One can never begin to imagine the fear, helpless and pain that parents go through when their child goes missing. The extent of those emotions are bound to overflow into the lives of family, friends and neighbors, and with the passing of every moment, the apprehension and thoughts of what could be and what is happening grows. Elevated expectation of what the police may or may not be doing is heighten by the fact that even those who are closest to you become suspect.

In 1991 when Jaycee Dugard went missing she was 11 years old, her parents felt helpless, the community was at a lost to understand, and the nation was captivated by the picture they saw of a little girl with a bright smile and long blonde hair. Where was she? Where was Jaycee? Unfortunately, it would be 18 years later before her parents would see her, the community that lost Jaycee would honor her, and the nation would become fixated, not her on being missing, but how she lived, where she lived and what happens now.

But let me take a few steps back into what happens when a child goes missing. Unlike the thousands if not hundreds of thousands of children who go missing in the United States each year, the Jaycee Dugard case garnered national attention. She was waiting at a bus stop on her way to school and simply vanished. There were no reports that classified her as a runaway, troubled kid or the like. Her stepfather, who was reportedly the last person to see her, remained a suspect or otherwise “person of interest” in the case, until the day she was found. What happens to all of the media attention from the time a child goes missing until the nation no longer watches, and waits with anticipation? What happens when a child is simply GONE?

The race against time to find the child, verify or discard information, analyze clues and interview suspects is short and pressing. Every second counts and every minute that passes is another hour lost. However, in a parents mind, from missing to gone is 60 seconds from the time they know or realize that they can’t “see” their child. 

Jaycee Dugard should have renewed the hope of every parent with a missing child that until you know for sure, you just don't know!  Although your child's story may not have made national news or even appeared locally for longer than a 30 second spot, get out your photos, call the police, get new information posted and get your childs story back in the headlines and on the news.  Am I advising people to take advantage of this opportunity? ABSOLUTELY!!! This case has brought a heighten awareness to missing children and your child could be the next child to come home. 

Parent tips:

• Instead of large fliers, get regular size business cards made up with your child's picture on them and information about who to contact. You can use the front and back if necessary and color photos work better.  Pass the business cards out and leave them everywhere you go, restaurants, bathrooms, hotels at conferences, give them to family and friends and ask them to do the same.  Put your website information on them.
• If you don't have alot of money, ask someone to donate their services and create a one page website with your child's information on it.   Ask someone who can volunteer or learn how to make updates  to the website yourself.  Ask a local business to sponsor the domain name for one year or longer.
• From the website you can have monies donated to a reward fund which can only be used for information or the safe return of your child.  However, be careful with rewards! Sometimes they can have the opposite affect, in that they create an unneccessary back log of false leads for law enforcement.  You will need to work closely with law enforcement when establishing a reward and throughout the case.   You also need to establish a positive relationship with the media.   
• Once you have information available, have the local newspaper do an article and provide the contact information for the website.
• On the anniversary of your child's birthday and day he or she went missing do something publicly to keep your story at the forefront.  Work with other parents of missing children and contact them to find out what if anything they are doing.  Share information and ideas. Whatever you do, be sure it is professional, responsible and doesn't draw any negative attention on the case which may damage or hurt your chances for successful prosecution later....work with law enforcement.
•  BECOME AN ADVOCATE!!!   People will only advocate as hard for your child as You, yourself advocate.  Be careful of the people you keep close to you, share information with and have speak on your behalf.  You always want to be sure that you are receiving the right advice, your wishes are being expressed properly and your efforts are not counterproductive.

If know you want to cry, I know you want to lay down and feel sorry for yourself, but remember this is not about you, it's about the child that you can't see!  Your child may be GONE but only you can make sure they are NOT FORGOTTEN!!!

Teachable for Kids:

• Children should never go anywhere with strangers. Stranger abductions are far less common than being abducted by someone known to the victim. (Tell them not to help anyone look for their pets, go for ice cream or allow anyone to take them by the hand. Also don't allow a stranger to touch them on the shoulder-a touch on the shoulder implies comfortable, lack of apprehension, particularly if the child doesn’t flinch or move away quickly.  Remember, if someone is going to walk them to safety, they need to walk towards a crowd and not away from it)

• Express the importance of never going over to a car if someone ask for directions, or wants to ask them a questions or says they want to show them something in the car, van etc..

• Teach your kids a “safe” word that only you or they know.

• Teach your kids a “fear” word that only you or they know.

• Tell your child to yell “FIRE” in a crowded place if someone is taking them somewhere.

• Also tell you child to never go to another location with a stranger, no matter what they say.  (I'm going to hurt you, your parents or someone else you know. - victims who are taken to a secondary location are in more danger than remaining at the first location)

• Teach your child how to use the phone at a young age, and how to remember signs if they are in a car. Remember to tell you child that NO MATTER WHAT, they are told to believe, you will ALWAYS keep looking for them,  it doesn't matter how long it takes, or how far they are, you will always be looking and they should always be looking for you to come and get them!  (Giving a child HOPE gives them something to always hold on to!)

Keeping our children safe should be a priority to the nation. Welcome home Jaycee Dugard and let’s keep the light on for every child in America that is missing to us and GONE to their parents!

SEXUAL ASSAULT - Consensual or Nonconsensual??

We've been kicking it for awhile and it was really nice. One evening, we went out to dinner, met a few friends at the bar and had some drinks. The night was going well, and we were both feeling comfortable and relaxed from the food, fun, conversation and alcohol. It was getting late and my friend took me back to the house to retrieve my car so I could go home.

I came in the house for a moment and we began to kiss, it was nice, it felt good, but then I wanted to stop. My friends hand went up my shirt, the kissing became more aggressive, and I said, "okay, I'm not ready and I think it's time for me to leave". I was pinned to the wall and couldn't breathe, couldn't move and said "please STOP!, I don't want to", "come on, I'm ready to go!" The reply I heard was, "come on, you know you want me like I want you". My reply, "I really need to go"....."I want you to STOP." I was pushed to the floor, one hand holding both of mine, the other pulling at my underwear. I can't breathe, I'm crying, I'm sweating but I can't scream....I can't speak....I can't move. The next thing I felt is the thrust of my legs with a painful force and then the continous thrust of "my friend" upon me, whispering words that were barely audible, my tears covered my face, my legs spread in pain, my heart racing with fear, my eyes blurred from the sweat.....and then silence. No movement, no words, my breathing even more shallow by the weight and I lay motionless beneath.

What should I do? what do I say? It's over...I guess. The kiss on my forehead, the wiping of my tears and then the words, "baby, what's wrong?" "are you okay?" "baby that was so damn good." "I knew you were hot but wow!!!" The weight is gone. I still didn't know if I was really breathing, I guess I was, but why couldn't I move? I think I was in shock...DID I SAY NO?

Okay, let me play this back in my mind....."my friend" is in the shower, what do I do? I want to run, I'm scared, my heart is racing again, I'm screaming but nothing is coming out!!!! HELLO, HELLO, what just happened? I know we were both drinking and I like "my friend" but I didn't want to? My friend appears at the door again and ask "do you want to take a shower?" "are you okay?" why aren't you saying anything?" ....(in my mind) I have been talking, haven't I? I could have sworn that I said NO!!! NO!!! could "my friend" not hear me then? Maybe my lips were not moving and I was only saying NO!!! in my head, that's it "my friend" couldn't hear me, that's why I.....I....I think I've been raped!!!!

What would you do if your life changed in an instant?