A LIFE SENTENCE - JUSTICE??

Recently I attended the sentencing hearing of a man who strangled the mother of his child and then set her home on fire. The victim was a young mother of three daughters, she was a sister, daughter, aunt and friend. And while I did not know her personally, a member of her family asked me to attend. As I walked up and saw the number of people who were there for this victim of domestic violence, I also saw the people who were there for the perpetrator of this heinous crime. It made me give pause to all that "both" of these families had already endured and also what lies ahead for all of them.

Most of the time people who have not engaged the JUSTICE system in this manner hear the verdict and are somewhat relieved if the outcome is what they had hope. While they are aware that the pain is somewhat lessened in the name of JUSTICE for their beloved, they do recognize that it will be sometime before things are "better" for lack of a better word. This man was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole, and regardless of what side you stand on, whether you think this is good or you may think this is too harsh, no one wins in these senseless crimes. What I saw, felt and experienced in that courtroom was more than emotional it was heartbreaking. Families were divided and in pain. There is a reason that JUSTICE wears a blind fold because it's hard to hear and even more painful to see.

But here's what gives me "pause of contemplation"; in cases such as this, where the trickling of blood has stained the fabric of lives regardless of who you are, the victimization experienced by all is doubled stitched and woven into the anger of what happened, how people feel and what they come to reconcile within themselves sometime later.

Who can see clearly when the waters have become murky with things like past hurt, accusations, revelations, justification, determination, vengeance, pain, separation anxiety, desperation, grief, isolation and ultimately fear have encompassed your thoughts, emotions and soul. Where do you turn when the ache in your heart and the screams in your head drown out all that you once knew. It may be hard to imagine and some may not even care, but even the family, friends and those who THOUGHT they knew the perpetrator of this crime feel this same type of helpless and hopeless pain, because they don't have the answers either. Who could or would predict the unpredictable and stand by and intentionally watch a crime like this happen? I would hope no one, and yet some do! I do not believe that such was the case for this family.

Violence in homes, schools, businesses and communities is escalating, and while some would want to blame it the economy, drugs, alcohol and a host of, what trained professionals call "mitigating factors", the reality of domestic violence, and others crimes against persons, (sexual assault, crimes against children and human trafficking) is that it's all about CHOICE DRIVEN BEHAVIOR. Perpetrators choose their response, whether calculated, opportunistic or situational, they are ultimately responsible for the violence and whatever measure of justice that can be exacted on behalf of the victim and society can never change outcome.

We have all been given a life sentence because each and every day somewhere in America there is another victim of domestic violence and sexual assault. Another criminal act has been perpetrated upon a child and changed they way that they see and engage the world. Another person has been civilly, morally or sexually been exploited and life about them goes on. The justice we seek for others is also the justice we seek for ourselves, we have been violated, exposed, damaged and ultimately changed. While the perpetrator is sentenced to life behind bars, many are sentenced to a life of silence either as victims or silent bystanders who know and do nothing. You may not have known this victim, but how many victims have you known or do you know now? You may not have know this perpetrator, but how many perpetrators have you known or do you know now?

None of us are immune to the violence that surrounds us, because we have all become the COLLATERAL DAMAGE of what we are exposed too!